SINGAPORE — In what he described as the lowest point in his life, a cyber-security specialist stole a few thousand dollars from a savings account meant for his daughter so that he could keep gambling.
The 35-year-old, who gave only his surname as Sow, peeped to find out his wife's password for the account under her name. "I stole the money to top up my betting account," he said.
He had lost at least $500,000 from football matches since getting addicted to illegal gambling sites in his teens and ended up owing both legal and illegal moneylenders.
Still, the father of three young children continued. "I was betting every day — in the toilet, at work and on the bus or train."
A National Council on Problem Gambling survey of more than 3,000 Singapore residents aged 18 and older found that more people, like Sow, have gambled on illegal online sites.
The percentage of those who said they have done so rose from 0.3 per cent in the 2020 survey to one?per cent in the 2023 poll.
But the probable pathological and problem gambling rate remained stable at around 1.1 per cent of those polled in the 2023 survey, which was released on Nov 28.
Pathological gambling indicates a more severe addiction compared with problem gambling.
Sow started betting on football matches at the age of 15. Two years later, he was introduced by friends to illegal online gambling sites.
He was given $500 of free credit when he started his first account with the illegal operators and quickly became hooked to the thrill of winning and making a fast buck. Besides football, he also placed bets on other sports such as basketball and ice hockey.
"There is no need to pay upfront," he said of playing on credit. "You pay only when you lose. It's convenient, and I could gamble 24/7. It was a no-brainer for me."
At his peak, he placed up to $5,000 on a single football match.
But the losses started to pile up, and his decade-plus gambling addiction was tearing his life apart.
The stress of his debts left him often unable to focus at work, and he would often take medical leave to "escape from work". He also frequently flew into a rage.
Besides stealing money meant for his daughter, Sow lied repeatedly to borrow money from his loved ones.
He tried to stop and sought help from two groups to kick the habit, but that did not work. Deep down, he was not ready to give up chasing back his gambling losses, he admitted.
He said: "My parents and I were not on talking terms as I was always asking them for money.
"They even asked my girlfriend if she wanted to carry on with the wedding."
His mother wanted to disown him, but his girlfriend stood by him, and they got married.
The turning point came when the loan sharks harassed his wife, and his in-laws told him he had to stop gambling for good.
He went to Blessed Grace Social Services to seek help seven years ago.?In his first year in their support group for gamblers, he relapsed twice, but other members encouraged him not to give up.
"Everyone had shunned me previously," he said. "But at Blessed Grace, I could feel the love from other members of the group, and they don't judge me for what I have done. And that gave me hope."
Sow added that his Christian faith also helped him turn over a new leaf. He has not gambled for six years now.
"The marketing on these illegal sites is really addictive. Once you have no money, they will give you free credit just to keep you hooked," he said.
"At the end of the day, you can't win the house."
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This article was first published in The Straits Times. Permission required for reproduction.
